The Best Way to Fire Someone — And 5 Mistakes I’ve Learned the Hard Way.
Letting someone go is one of the toughest moments in leadership. If you lead with compassion, it’s the kind of decision that can weigh on you—keeping you up at night, sometimes for weeks. But how you handle it matters deeply. Done well, it’s an act of respect, clarity, and care. Below are five mistakes I’ve made (and learned from), along with a simple framework that’s helped me do it better.
5 Mistakes to Avoid
1. Too Friendly
Starting with small talk—“How are the kids?” or “How was your vacation?”—confuses the moment. They likely sense what’s coming. This isn’t the time for casual connection.
2. Too Surprising
If they didn’t see this coming, you shouldn’t be having this conversation. Performance concerns should’ve been addressed clearly and repeatedly beforehand.
3. Too Detailed
Avoid diving into reasons, severance terms, or legal nuances. In emotional moments, logic fades. Most people only care about three things:
Is there severance?
If yes, how long?
What will you tell others?
*Make sure they leave with written documentation that clearly outlines the key details.
4. Too Confusing
Fear makes us vague. But softening the message often makes it harder. Clarity is kindness.
5. Too Long
Keep it under five minutes. Longer conversations trigger emotional overwhelm and can lead to regretful reactions.
What I Learned from Mentors (and Wish I Had Sooner)
Here’s a simple, respectful script that works:
Before they sit down:
“This is going to be a hard conversation.”Once seated:
“We’ve decided to terminate your employment with [Company Name].”Be direct:
“This is effective immediately.”Provide clarity:
“Here’s the agreement. Take it home, review it, and reach out with questions or acceptance by [date, time].”Offer dignity:
“We’ll arrange a time for you to collect your things—now or later, whichever you prefer.”
Stick to these five points. Let them process privately. Don’t fill the silence. You’ve said what needs to be said.
