4 Things Executive Leaders Routinely Get Wrong—And They’re Fixable.
Even the most seasoned leaders can fall into patterns that unintentionally weaken trust, engagement, and culture. These four common missteps show up often. Here’s what I’ve learned from experience and reflection.
1. Reinforcing the Negative
Ever told someone, “Don’t eat the cookies”? What do they think about next? Cookies.
What we focus on expands. If we highlight what’s wrong, we unintentionally grow it. The brain doesn’t process “don’t” as well as we think—it just locks onto the subject.
Instead: Reinforce the Positive
Plants grow toward light, not away from darkness. Point out what’s working. Celebrate the wins. The more you name the good, the more of it you’ll see.
2. Telling Without Asking
Leaders who default to telling rather than asking activate the brain’s defensive mode in their teams. The result?
People feel undervalued
Critical thinking drops
Ownership fades
Decision bottlenecks burn out the leader
Authoritarian leadership—high control, low inquiry—is consistently linked to lower engagement, morale, and retention.
Instead: Ask Questions | Be Curious
People own what they help create. Invite them into the solution. You might be surprised—they could come up with something better than you would have directed.
3. Withholding the Full Truth
Holding back the final 10% of truth—especially the uncomfortable part—sends a subtle but powerful message: candor isn’t safe here.
And even if you don’t say it, your body language will. Tone shifts, facial tension, and hesitation leak the truth anyway—and create confusion and mistrust.
This leads to:
Fear-based silence
Reduced innovation
Lower team learning
Instead: Share the Last 10% with Gentleness and Respect
Truth builds trust. Delivered with care, it strengthens relationships and culture.
4. Thinking You Know the Right Answer—by Yourself
When leaders speak like they already know the answer:
It undermines trust and psychological safety
It discourages creativity and collaboration
It signals a lack of humility and openness
It weakens team engagement and accountability
Instead: Flip the Script
One person can never see all sides of a sphere at the same time. From any fixed point—even an infinitely far one—one person can only see 50% of the surface. It takes a minimum of two people to see the whole picture. No amount of skill or experience can overcome this fundamental limitation.
Final Thought
Leadership isn’t about having all the answers—it’s about creating the conditions where truth, trust, and collaboration can thrive. When we shift from control to curiosity, from critique to encouragement, and from assumption to openness, we unlock the full potential of our teams—and ourselves.
